I hate fake people.

I'm sick and tired of living in this crappy society!

I always have to be self-conscious and it kinda causes paranoia.

Why doesn't it ever change ? Why doesn't it ever get better ?

Growing up, I've always been going through weird things and having loads of problems because of the way I acted. Dad always used to tell me not to have guy friends, Mom never minded it. Their endless conflict never did me any good, but more so, never stopped in any issue. When I was younger I used to stay quiet about everything, I was going through my early teen years, and I just never got friendly with guys. I used to stop myself from doing things that are fun for me just because people saw them negatively. People said, "Oh no don't wear that, don't do this, don't talk to him/her ... " You get the point.

But here goes, let's cut the crap ...

I realized that no one can stop me from doing anything that I want to be doing, and I don't owe anyone ANYTHING!

The thing is, people never stayed quiet, they always GOSSIPED!

Why are people, especially in Egypt, like this ? Why do they always have to stick their noses in things that don't concern them ? Why do they have to talk about others that do things publicly only when they do it secretly ? Why do they hide their jealousy and then act exactly like you when you're not around ? Why are they fake enough to pretend they're your "BFF" ? Why are they stupid enough to actually believe they really are your "BFF" even though you never told them so ? Why are we always afraid of doing things that other people judge us on ? Why do people always fake being good when they're truly evil? Why won't they just quit? Why do we always fall for people like that, and support them in everything they do, whether right or wrong, and then we find out that they spread rumors about us ?

I'm sick of this, sick of people judging me even though I believe in what I do, and even if I'm a total geek or a total whore. Seriously, whoever I am, whatever I do, whenever and where ever I do it is non of your business ! I set my own limits and your opinion is not necessary ! Doing things and then lying about doing them isn't cool, hating to talk about your actions in front of your friends isn't cool either. But the most uncool thing is convincing yourself that you hate what your friends do, and then go do it secretly.

I'm not writing this for me, I'm writing this for anybody who used to be like me, anyone who used to pressure him/her self just to please other people. I had no opinion, and even when I did, I just never showed it. Now I'm not saying that I'm a total loser who has a "promiscuous" reputation, but I'm just not a people pleaser anymore, and I will never be one.

Now, I wear whatever I want to wear, where ever, whenever !
I know who my real friends are, and I know who my fake "friends" are.
I've grown to know the difference between the people who care and others who pretend to care out of jealousy and envy.
I have pity for people who think they are succeeding in fooling me. I have pity for other people who are people pleasers when I know they could be their own, lovable, creative, and original selves. I have pity for people who have empty lives and try to stuff them with other people's mistakes and misery, just for temporary laughs. I feel sorry for people who don't have enough self worth to know how valuable they really are just because others are judgmental.

I know that this is not the coolest thing to go through, but at least I've learned, from the world, from my mistakes, and from people's mistakes in general. There will be a lot more crap passing by, yet again, there will be loads of chances, loads of new real people, and loads of blogs :P
I love learning ! I love experience ! I love my real friends ! :)